A positive influence

Home

The Magazine

October Issue

Former football star Brian Sims talks to student-athletes about gay equality

When you’ve spent your career interviewing activists and personalities in the gay community, you come across a common tendency. For reasons that can be absolutely justified, the overwhelming majority of such interviewees have a predisposition towards doom and gloom. For many, being in the trenches of the fight for equality has opened their eyes to even more injustice than they realized. For others, personal experiences with hate and discrimination have colored their view of the world. And let’s not overlook the power of the media, which can make anyone pessimistic about the world.
During the hour that I spent on the phone with Brian Sims, however, I never once got a sense of gloom and doom from him; he was as positive as he could be, and his thoughts on tolerance, acceptance and equality showed pure optimism. That is why the Philadelphia attorney and former college football stud may be the best choice to speak to students at a dozen of Pennsylvania’s public and private universities throughout Gay History Month. (The last thing college-aged students want is someone preaching to them about how gay people have been wronged and reminding them about second-class citizenship.)
“I’m not trying to shame people into anything,” Sims told me. “What I’m trying to do is create a critical mass of supporters.”

Sims believes that there is a wave of support, particularly among young people, in the U.S. and those supporters simply need to know that they are appreciated … and needed.
He wants to encourage supporters of equality to “come out.”
The speaking engagements begin on the first of the month for Sims, at the University of Pittsburgh, and continue throughout October. The Penn State Athletics Commission is banking on Sims to help it fulfill its NCAA-required diversity training, but Sims’ impact will likely go further than instructing people to “do” this and “not to do” that.
“I’ll be talking about allies,” he said. “I can speak to gay audiences as the day is long. But I think that my strength lies in speaking to straight audiences.”

Brian Sims Footballer

Because of his background as a star football player at a Pennsylvania college – not to mention his boy-next-door looks and middle class upbringing – he is relatable to campus coeds in a way that many gay equality advocates are not. For these reasons, and because of his positive attitude, he can get five minutes with an audience that others cannot.
The colleges have embraced him and are welcoming him in an unprecedented way. What started with a few schools calling for his participation quickly snowballed into a dozen, and the inquiries were still coming as I completed this interview. Bucknell, a small private institution in Lewisburg, has scheduled Sims from morning to night: he’ll be speaking to all the school’s coaches, eating lunch with students, meeting with campus GLBT organizations and talking to football players at team practice. His impact on that campus should be felt by a large number of its 3,500 undergraduates long after he leaves.

OUT OF THE LOCKER ROOM CLOSET
With the recurring discussion of gays in sports and gays in locker rooms our minds usually go to the worst possible scenario. That person wouldn’t be accepted, we think. He would cause division amongst his teammates, we argue. It could lead to violence, we believe. In the case of Brian Sims, we are wrong on all three counts. “It was the opposite,” said Sims, referring to that worst possible scenario. “There aren’t a whole lot of opportunities for people to flex their ‘friend-muscle’.”

That’s exactly what happened early in his senior year while playing defensive lineman at Bloomsburg State. The team’s quarterback flat-out asked him one day if Sims was gay. It turned out his sexual orientation had been topic of conversation amongst many teammates.
“It sounds like the core group of my friends – which were also the core group of starters – that they had talked. … They had clearly challenged each other’s views and such.”
Sims says most of them took it as an opportunity to flex that friend-muscle. Their biggest concern was about how his being in the closet affected him, and any negative comments were easily drowned out by supporters. On the field, he adds there were absolutely no issues. Of course, it didn’t hurt that he was the team’s captain and longest starter on defense, helped get them to the national championship game, held (and still holds) the school’s bench-press records, and could “chug a beer better than anyone, and beat most people in an arm-wrestling match.”

His experience made him realize the single-biggest roadblock for people considering coming out, whether they are athletes or not. Rather than assuming the worst, giving people credit for being open-minded and progressive can open a lot of doors.
“You have to make sure people know that their supporters will be there for them.”

FROM FOOTBALL TO LAW
Since there isn’t a great demand for a 6-foot, 245 pound lineman in the NFL, Sims took his Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and followed his other lifelong pursuit – law. His passion for helping people in need led him to Michigan State University School of Law and eventually to the Philadelphia Bar Association, where he currently serves as Staff Counsel for Policy & Planning.
But a great deal of his work these days centers on aiding GLBT citizens obtain legal assistance and advocating for civil rights. He is the President of GALLOP (Gay & Lesbian Lawyers of Philadelphia) and a member of the Board of Directors of Equality Advocates of Pennsylvania. GALLOP serves the GLBT community by improving access to GLBT attorneys and enhancing business opportunities, advancement and employment of GLBT attorneys. Equality Advocates, according to Sims, is “THE Pennsylvania statewide advocacy organization.”

But Sims never expected to be at the forefront of the GLBT civil and legal rights struggle. Activism and advocacy were not on his radar, as his concentration at MSU was international and comparative law.
“I used to tell people they’d never see me marching in a parade. My type of activism is how I lead my life.
“It changed when I first moved to Philadelphia. I became very good friends with a man named Dan Anders. He was very much an LGBT advocate.”
Anders, who was campaigning to be elected as a judge on the Court of Common Pleas, asked Sims to chair his finance committee. After the successful campaign Sims realized he had “a very different voice in this than most people.” His background was not one of discrimination. He didn’t have a chip on his shoulder or negative life experience.
“I want to do this because it is right and not because I was denied something.”

That sense of right and wrong made it inevitable that Sims would steer back towards social justice and away from international law. The man who, as a child, would stand up to authority figures when he saw unfairness in discipline, told me: “I have this innate thing about fairness and justice.”

THE FUTURE FOR GAY ATHLETES
Brian Sims is not naïve. He understands that not every gay person has a rosy coming out story. And he knows that not every gay athlete is going to be welcomed with the support of teammates, coaches and fans like he was. But he won’t apologize for his circumstances; he can only advocate based on his own life experiences. Gay athletes, however, should be grateful for someone like Sims. Where is the benefit in listening to a story about a gay athlete who came out and got taunted, shunned or even beat up? Does it offer encouragement to a young gay man or women to be told they will have a tough road ahead of them?
“I was the first gay guy that lots and lots and lots of friends of mine had ever known,” said Sims, who strongly believes that many closeted people don’t yet know how accepting the people around them really are.

That’s where the aforementioned flexing of the friend-muscle comes in; by helping gay people trust that their friends will have their back, and by letting allies know that it is ok and important to prove their support, the path for coming out in the locker room can be made a lot simpler.
By the way, regarding that talk about openly gay athletes being a distraction in the locker room, Sims says that is a bunch of hogwash.
“Locker rooms are gross. … Locker rooms are not clean, pristine and fun.”

While he admits that he knows what all of his former teammates look like naked, the idea that sexual thoughts were the main thing on his mind in the locker room is ludicrous. Today, there are gay athletes in virtually every professional locker room in the country, he believes. It’s only a matter of time, he suggests, before one of these athletes comes out.
Sims predicts there will be a small amount of backlash concerning the first out pro, but adds: “The first out, gay professional athlete in this country is going to be a millionaire. He is going to be loved, revered and rich.”
In sports, it’s all about winning. In the final analysis, the most important thing is going to be whether or not that athlete is able to help the team get victories. Sims says “somebody is just going to be too good” for the rest to taunt, shun or beat up.
“It’s not going to be the end of the world.”

Brian Sims’ opinions on homophobia in sports – and on advocacy in general – are much different than what we normally hear from “gay leaders” in that he speaks with optimism rather than pessimism. In the true spirit of what Compete magazine is all about, a good dose of Sims’ optimism is exactly what we need. Unlike the negative messages we hear about gays in sports and what we have to look forward to, Sims’ message offers hope that things are not as bad as all that. The time gay people come out and begin changing the culture in sports doesn’t have to be far off.
Says Sims: “We are right on the cusp.”

Brian Sims Attorney

THE BRIAN SIMS FILE
PROFESSION: Attorney
FOOTBALL POSITION: Defensive Lineman
CURRENT ATHLETIC PURSUITS: Rowing; Just ran first Ultra-Marathon
FAVORITE TEAM: 1960s Green Bay Packers
HOBBIES: Collecting books and old newspapers
RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Recently out of a long-term relationship
#1 QUALITY IN A POTENTIAL PARTNER: Empathy

1 Vote

0 Comments

Add Comment